Excuses never work
by yeyeo
Summary: ShizNao Chapter 2 scheduled for rewriting after exams. Sometimes, it's better to listen to your heart instead of your mind.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do own Mai Hime or Mai Otome. All rights are strictly reserved to the respective personnel and companies.

Notes: This happens a few years after the HiME festival.

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Storms were not all that uncommon, especially in this weather. Although the broadcast station had reported yet another thunderstorm, I wasn't totally aware of it till a few moments ago. Right now, it was just me against the rain… or so it would have been if not for the piece of glass separating the both of us. _A window… a freaking window was in the way. _Much as I felt like leaping out of the window and into the rain, I couldn't. Besides, it wasn't the fact that there was thirteen storeys' worth of height between me and the ground which bothered me.

_It was her… her running flat out into the rain._

I pressed closer to that flimsy piece of glass _accursed barrier_ at the sight of her miniscule back view thirteen floors down _accursed barrier._ I was tempted… so sorely tempted to just throw everything away and run after her in the rain _accursed barrier_ but my logic was standing in the way. _A stupid barrier that was as immovable as a ton of large boulders. _I knew deep down that she needed time alone to sort out her thinking, but that didn't soothe my rattled nerves in any way. It was at times like this that I hated myself the most. I hated this pathetic excuse called logic… this… this abomination which _always_ stood in my way regardless of whatever I was doing.

Yes, logic had explained to me that staying here would be better, and logic had never been known to be wrong.

"You shouldn't keep yourself locked away so much, Nao. You aren't half as bad as what you think you are."

"What about you then, Shizuru. Aren't you doing pretty much the same thing? And to think you're trying to lecture me… Gods, sometimes I really can't fathom what you're plotting behind my back when you say things like this."

"Paranoia at such a young age of 18?"

"Talk about yourself."

A secretive smile was what I received before arms snaked protectively around my waist in a single smooth motion.

"Don't worry so much."

"Hmph."

There had been many other happier memories of us being together of course, but that particular conversation… it just wouldn't stop clinging onto my mind. With oft, I took this memory out of its cabinet and studied it, looking for any clues to explain why this memory refused to fade like the others had. Perhaps it was really paranoia as she had stated so plainly, but still, it felt like I'd missed out something important… something which could make a great difference to the both of us. I've never been classified as a part of the 'dim', but I seriously doubted whether that still stands true at this moment.

In the past, I had laughed directly into her face when Natsuki told me that Shizuru makes everyone near her dim-witted; especially if one spent more time than necessary with her. It had seemed so absurd, so hilarious that anyone could steal wits or render them duller just by being near. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but notice the seemingly endless amount of love letters and love declarations addressed to her even after I had loudly proclaimed to everyone that she was taken.

_Shizuru, did I ever tell you that I enjoyed warming myself with the heat from the fire that was fueled with these very letters? _

_But of course, you would have seen that grin on my face as I did so by now… right? _

Then again, this entire blabber about the past is just a way to make myself forget the fact that she wasn't here right now. After all, being content and comfortable in the past did not secure the happiness for the future. As this very thought lingers in my mind at this current moment, I realized - with a pang of pain that strikes my chest like hammer pounding against wood - that Shizuru still wasn't completely honest with me. I couldn't tell anyone how I knew, but I just did. Maybe it was just an oblivious gesture made by her, or even an unconscious sentence I'd heard in her sleep which roused the inner awareness in me. Questions about her had always mounted to near infinite as I constantly pondered over the possible notions that were floating past her complicated mindset.

That was just pure silliness by the way. Logic tells me that I'm thinking too much. I am Nao. Actions were always preferred over the excessive use of brain cells. Pah, just great. Now I'm starting to sound like Kuga, and I blame it on the inordinate amount of time I spent eating bentos together with her.

Nope, there simply couldn't be anything that you're hiding behind my back.

_But why did you refuse to tell me the reason for you to seek me instead of Natsuki?_

_Why then, did you run away when I proposed the idea of us taking the relationship to the next stage? _

For the twelfth time today, logic rang its bell of practicality in my mind, reminding me stoically that my name was Nao.

What can I do? Curse it into oblivion?

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A/N: Teh. Felt super pissed at something when I typed this out. Still feeling pissed off now. It must be due to the haze and the heat in Singapore. It'll probably be a 3 or 5 part fic. I'll update again when the time is right. Oh, if you feel that Nao was OoC or something, feel free to point it out to me.

- hums twinkle twinkle little star as I smash a Duran hammer into the wall -

Review or I'll smash the Duran hammer on you… Muahahaha…! –continues smashing the wall-


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Mai Hime or Mai Otome

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**_Drip. Drip. Drip._**

_Fujino Shizuru._

President of Fujino Corporation.

After all, there was no one else left with the bloodline to succeed my father. Who else but me should take the chore? Who else but me had been brought up under the strictest environment to fulfill my duties in the future?

_Fujino Shizuru._

An avid collector of ceremonies and niceties.

A weird hobby this is, isn't it? Who else but me collects ceremonies and niceties and cradles them to my heart and soul everywhere I go? Who would be that obsessed over keeping up a perfect image of oneself and drinks tea everyday like a drug addict? Who would?

_Fujino Shizuru._

Yes, it's me. So what now? I am forever bound to this name. Why should I even give a hoot to it? Fujino Shizuru. What a name.

**_Drip._**

_No. It's not me. _

_It was never me. It's just a mask… that's all … right?_

Fujino Shizuru.

I, Fujino Shizuru, reside in a gigantic mansion at a lone hilltop with a hundred servants at my beck and call. No, face it, the entire hill is mine and would be mine for always and eternity. After all, no one would have dared to snatch this hill from me nor did they have the ability to do so. To anyone, I guess, this little description was totally befitting that of a peaceful _vengeful probably_ vampire countess living in seclusion.

I am _the_ Countess Fujino Shizuru. Haha. How funny. I'm so totally amused.

Then again, Fujino Shizuru should never be found here. _Pathetic, useless! Even if it was only a poor excuse of a mask, was this how you should be? _No. Fujino Shizuru should never be seen drenched in the rain and soaked to the bone. No. Fujino Shizuru should never have that pained look of anguish or any other emotion showing on her face. No. Fujino Shizuru does not crumble under any circumstances, and neither does she cry under the camouflage of the rain. No. Absolutely not.

Even so… isn't it ironical that Fujino Shizuru had flesh and blood?

I gave a bitter smirk at that thought.

Perhaps I'm just a malfunctioning new age Frankenstein. Maybe I'm nothing but a badly programmed humanoid which had sensations and feelings that defied the maker's plans - a prototype that was garbage-type trash.

_That would explain the hopelessness I feel… wouldn't it?_

Why must I be Fujino Shizuru?

**_Drip._**

The chief of the First District just sat there, looking pointedly at me.

"You would kill me, Fujino Shizuru. Wouldn't you?"

"Aren't you running like the rest of them?"

I could hear the distinct roar of Kiyohime as she ripped the life out of yet another member of the living behind me.

"Why should I run? Aren't you the one who's running away?"

I clutched the Naginata even tighter at her words, letting the chill from the smooth metal soothe my rattled nerves.

_It's for Natsuki._

"I hit the nail right on its head, didn't I? That's why you had no answer for me."

"Pray tell me… how am I exactly running away? The last time I checked, I was doing the offensive, not retreating."

A smile reached her lips, but the crinkled old skin made it to be more a grimace than anything else. Lazily, I spared her another glance, taking in the sight which beholds the ancient chief of the First District.

_Eyes that were lined with weariness… and pity._

"I pity you, child. You should speak more of your own feelings instead of keeping them in like you did. Such a waste… you could have been a fine person just by being more honest with yourself."

_Pity for me…_

"I have no need for gratification."

That, I'm sure, was the last words she'd heard before I sliced her into pieces.

_Her arms spread out in an embrace… an embrace of death… an embrace of condolence… a weak attempt to bring an unknown stranger out of the pits of hell._

"It's too late for that anyway. I'd sunk in too deeply to breathe the air of purity anymore."

_The undead walked on, leaving death and destruction in its wake. _

**_Drip._**

_Fujino Shizuru. That's who I will always be… ad infinitum._

The cold edge of the large boulder I sat on cuts further into my freezing flesh as the howl of the wind bombards my ears with its wail. Surrounding me was the merciless rain pelting down in heavy torrents, as if they were trying to wash away my sins with its sheer force. Thunderclaps were heard plainly in the distance and I half-wished that one would find me and take me away. _I'm in the woods anyway… not the best place to be in a storm… maybe… just maybe…_ I shook my head slightly to clear the silly thoughts that were running rampant through my mind. After all, I couldn't afford to die in the rain.

I closed my eyes and lifted my face up to meet the onslaught of rain, letting the drops of tranquility cleanse the dried tears upon my face as I once again held the mask of indifference and honed in my binge thoughts. It just wouldn't do to have someone see the infallible Shizuru in such a rueful state. Suddenly, I was shielded by something from the tears of heavens.

_Nao._

"Shizuru."

"Natsuki."

Oh. How foolish I am…

_Nao._

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A/N: Join my quest in converting people into ShizNao fans! Feel my wrath! Muahaha!

:ahem: Ok, second insert for this fic… not much interaction here or explanations for that matter… might be a little confusing… watch out for the next chapter to know more! As usual, feel free to give any form of constructive criticism and correct any grammar or word errors! Oh, and have I mentioned how much any writer loves reviews? –hint hint-

xD

As for my other stories, I'm sad to announce that they'll be on hold temporarily as the exams are killing off most of my plotbunnies.

Challenge: Guess what would happen next… hehe… -runs away to dreamland-


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